Oh so uncertain...

Psalm 39:4-7 (NIV)

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end

    and the number of my days; 

    let me know how fleeting my life is. 

 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

    the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Everyone is but a breath, 

    even those who seem secure.

 “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; 

    in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth 

    without knowing whose it will finally be.

 “But now, Lord, what do I look for?

    My hope is in you.

We are, have, or will deal with the inevitable insecurity of uncertainty. I know that was a mouthful. But, I can't believe how hard uncertainty is affecting me and the lives so close to me.  I think about my future almost constantly, on a repeating cycle of doubt.  Sometimes I think I know where I want my life to be, but there is always something holding me back...another decision that has to be made before committing. 

My point in saying all of that is just to emphasize how much I've spent thinking about what the uncertainty means to me.  Most of what I'm afraid of is the typical(maybe)...being stuck in a life where I won't be happy.  Or worse, being stuck in a life where I feign happiness.  

My fear is hushed by the doubt that what I'm afraid of is actually putting forth the work to achieve anything in life. Which brings me very clearly to the uncertainty yet again.

I must say though that I've had a lot of experiences with different people in my lifetime, most of them knowing what they've wanted forever.  Some with the drive, some with the passion, and some just with the parents. I don't doubt that most of them will be happy with whatever paths they choose. A lot of them might just end up stuck.

It seems to me that on my path to better understanding what the Lord wills of me, I have found that the things that I'm worried about having in my future...all of them are material. I have spent so much time thinking about what I won't have if I choose a path that would make me happiest, that I put the decision on myself.  I forgot to listen to the Lord.  

My motivation for this blog post wasn't for me to tell you what I've discovered for myself, or to tell you to what the Lord has done for me.  Rather, I just wish and pray for all of you, my beautiful friends.  I pray that in your road to self-discovery you can find that road that leads you to happiness. No matter the socially accepted consequences and limits, that you can find peace in your decisions. 

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

This is a challenge for a lot of the modern world.  To know that the Lord has plans for them...that is where most get lost.  My heart aches for those who need to see God's love and direction.

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for you...to give you a future and hope.  The power behind these words should pierce easily through the hearts of the masses.  But unfortunately, it does not. How do we make people believe in the plan God has for each of us?  He gave us life, and each life means something.

Like Josh Garrels says, "we're all castaways in need of  rope".  That rope is being held by God, we just have to be willing to grab on.  THAT is my prayer and hope.  I pray for those that I can reach to grab onto the rope.

He will deliver you from the demons that cloud your mind and heart. Peace with you.

Genesis 1:1

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.

And with those words the world was changed forever. The impact of these eight words rang in the ears of a population without faith. God had created everything. Anything that could be grasped and all that couldn't was made possible by God. I know that when I think about how the world could be created, it's really easy for me to see the truth in science. Why not you know? All the facts are there. They all make sense considering what we've learned, what we are used to...but something that really struck me is that while we know this truth to be something we can grasp and understand, something is always missing. What kind of answers are we still searching for? Why is it that the slightest bit of hope in a higher being having the power to create all that we know navigates and burrows in our subconscious mind. Maybe there are some who still don't believe in what the promise God brings, but maybe it's burrowed somewhere in your mind. Listen to that line again, "in the beginning, God created heaven and earth". It's gracefully simple and opens the whole word of the lord with those eight words. In its simplicity it conveys how great and mighty God is. He created what we know, and maybe that means he created the ideas that found a scientists perspective. Who could really know? The beauty of believing in God is that you can believe with eyes closed and a mind open. Creation is something God introduced to all of us. When he created the world and what we see as heaven, he also created the possibility of that same majesty in us. And when someone is born as a new creation they are given the opportunity to be reborn with the world. Full of new promise, untouched...pure. It's that hope that burrows that seed in our hearts and minds. We keep it there because the possibility is too great to pass up. God started by creating, and as long as He can he will continue that creation. 

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God this is in Christ Jesus our Lord"

Today I was blessed with the opportunity of going to God's recognized house of worship. It was an emotional service for me.  The end of the "out of control" series, the message impacted me deeply and brought out a lot of held-in emotion for me.  God is in control and he holds all life in his hands. The sermon was calling us to recognize that we don't control all aspects of our life, and to accept it. To let go of the discouragement was the major part that struck me.  When I think about what I feel I can't control, and try to think about what's in God's control, I feel helpless.  I like the idea that I don't need to feel helpless, and that when i feel completely in God's love and faith, I won't have to.  With time, I'm going to accept God into my life entirely, and I'm sure when it happens I won't be stuck anymore. In my struggles, I'll learn to let time run its course, and understand I don't have to do it all alone. Thanks are given to the power & faith I feel when I let God into my life. I'm grateful to be able to feel like I don't need to know the answers for once in my life. Thanks be to God. So I pray today for patience & those in similar situations. In his name, I pray. Amen.

"Your life may be the only Bible some people read" --unknown

^^I found this amazing quote at the beginning of the summer. When I saw this quote, it really registered deeply. The power in the meaning of your life being the example some people live by....when you have something like the  Bible in comparison to your life, it's a powerful feeling.  Another really great quote I found resonated almost as deeply with me: "To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are."  When you are like me, constantly wishing you could step into a new body..it's a great way to get some appreciation and perspective. Generally, the theme of this particular entry is appreciation for the life God so generously gave us.  On the one hand, your life comes with the power with which you lead by example, and on the other hand there is a great need to be aware of the gift you were given.  It is always humbling to be reminded of the things we take for granted.  So I pray for everyone to appreciate their lives and the lives of those around. In his name I pray, amen.

Daniel 6: "Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before"

In Daniel in the Den of Lions, Daniel is faced with people who want to see him out of power so much that they attack his faith when they have nowhere else to turn. Daniel endures even faced with death with a faith in God that never failed.

When I read this I felt the same empowering feeling of faith prevailing, when I hear of stories of the same caliber.   I like that idea that God will always be there for you, even when you're challenged with something that seems impossible to overcome.  With faith comes security in the worst and best of times.  Daniel did not waver from his faith and it proved fruitful.  I hope to become close enough to God that my faith never falters, and then I too, will find security in whatever path I take.

Back on the Map...blog

So. I commit to writing this blog and staying on the track of bible reading. Then I break that commitment. Missing one reading a day led to missing quite a few more than one.  It's an unfortunate reality.  But I'm back. And I'm just going to pick up with my latest reading.  This does mean that my blog will have some omissions, but I am willing to return to them when complete.  This puts me back on the map, taking me back on the path of daily worship and reflection with God.  I hope that my will allows for my continued participation, but luckily I've had supportive friends and family to keep me centered regardless of my absence from this blog.  So I continue this blog today, and for the days to come with school and a job.  Dedication and discipline will aid in my journey to document my thoughts about every story I read and reflect on.  Peace be with you.