Oh so uncertain...

Psalm 39:4-7 (NIV)

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end

    and the number of my days; 

    let me know how fleeting my life is. 

 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

    the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Everyone is but a breath, 

    even those who seem secure.

 “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; 

    in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth 

    without knowing whose it will finally be.

 “But now, Lord, what do I look for?

    My hope is in you.

We are, have, or will deal with the inevitable insecurity of uncertainty. I know that was a mouthful. But, I can't believe how hard uncertainty is affecting me and the lives so close to me.  I think about my future almost constantly, on a repeating cycle of doubt.  Sometimes I think I know where I want my life to be, but there is always something holding me back...another decision that has to be made before committing. 

My point in saying all of that is just to emphasize how much I've spent thinking about what the uncertainty means to me.  Most of what I'm afraid of is the typical(maybe)...being stuck in a life where I won't be happy.  Or worse, being stuck in a life where I feign happiness.  

My fear is hushed by the doubt that what I'm afraid of is actually putting forth the work to achieve anything in life. Which brings me very clearly to the uncertainty yet again.

I must say though that I've had a lot of experiences with different people in my lifetime, most of them knowing what they've wanted forever.  Some with the drive, some with the passion, and some just with the parents. I don't doubt that most of them will be happy with whatever paths they choose. A lot of them might just end up stuck.

It seems to me that on my path to better understanding what the Lord wills of me, I have found that the things that I'm worried about having in my future...all of them are material. I have spent so much time thinking about what I won't have if I choose a path that would make me happiest, that I put the decision on myself.  I forgot to listen to the Lord.  

My motivation for this blog post wasn't for me to tell you what I've discovered for myself, or to tell you to what the Lord has done for me.  Rather, I just wish and pray for all of you, my beautiful friends.  I pray that in your road to self-discovery you can find that road that leads you to happiness. No matter the socially accepted consequences and limits, that you can find peace in your decisions.